UNITY CANDLE CEREMONY
(The Unity Candle Ceremony is a unification ceremony which is often included in the regular wedding ceremony, usually after the exchange of rings.)
Not recommended for outdoor ceremonies because of possible wind.
The Unity Candle Lighting Ceremony is becoming more and more common in today's weddings. The ceremony symbolizes the pledge of unity between the bride and groom and the merging of two families. It usually occurs after the exchange of rings and before the couple is pronounced husband and wife (sometimes it is done after this however). Usually the mothers light their tapers before taking their seats, usually to a special piece of music. (This is often an instrumental song so as to not take any attention away from the mothers). When the bride and groom light the center candle, a song is sung or played. They either take a few minutes up by the altar to exchange a few words or they can take a flower that was placed by the candle and present it to their mothers at this time. Traditionally, there are three candles. The mothers each light one of the side candles. The bride and groom then each take one of the side candles and together they light the center candle. They may then blow out their individual side candles to symbolize the extinguishing of their two single lives. Or, as is more common today, they may keep those candles burning to symbolize that their individualness is not extinguished, even though they are united in marriage.
Here are some example wordings for this lovely, symbolic portion of the wedding ceremony.
"_____ and _____ are going to light their wedding/unity candle, as a symbol of their marriage. The candles from which they light it represent each of them in the fullness of their personhood. They come into their marriage relationship as individuals and they do not lose their identity, rather they create through their commitment the relationship of marriage. Therefore, three candles remain lighted, one for each of them and one for their marriage as symbols of their commitment to each other and to a lasting and loving marriage."
"The two outside candles have been lighted by their parents to represent their lives to this moment. The lights, representing the faith, wisdom, and love they have received from their parents, are distinct, each burning alone. They light the center candle to symbolize the union of their lives. As this one light burns undivided, so shall their love be one with God. From now on their thoughts shall be for each other rather than for their individual selves. Their joys and sorrows shall be shared alike. Holding hands, they encircle the alter and candle to symbolize the sacrificial nature of their life journey together. May the radiance of this one light and their journey together be a testimony of their unity."
The two outside candles of the candelabra have been lighted to represent their lives to this moment. They are two distinct lights, each capable of going their separate ways. To bring bliss and happiness to their home there must be the merging of these two lights into one light. This is what God meant when He said, "On this account, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall be one flesh." From now on their thoughts shall be for each other rather than for their individual selves. Their plans shall be mutual. Their joys and sorrows shall be shared alike. As they each take a candle, and together light the center candle, they will extinguish their own candles, thus letting the center candle symbolize the union of their lives into one flesh. As this one light cannot be divided, neither shall their lives be divided. May the radiance of this one light be a witness of their unity in Christ.
(This one is for a ceremony that uses a unity candle with the cross and double rings design on it). "On this their Wedding Day, they make this loving commitment, to follow the greatest commandment of all: 'Love one another, as I have loved you.' This they do in the hope that their uniton shall become a symbol of God's promise to merge two devoted lives into one. The two distinct flames represent their lives to this moment; individual and unique. To bring bliss and happiness to their home there must be the merging of these two into one. Together they light the center candle. This is what God meant when He said, "On this account, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall be one." From now on their thoughts shall be for each other rather than for their individual selves. The entwining rings --symbolize their two lives joined in dependence and growing maturity. Their plans shall be mutual. Their joys and sorrows shall be shared alike. The cross -- a constant reminder of their faith in the Lord who blesses us each day, for it is He who enriches their marriage in every possible way. Thus they extinguish the two, forever united in the radiant oneness of God's love. Let them renew their vows each day as the memory of this joyous occasion reminds us: The Way is Long --Let Us Go Together The Way is Difficult -- Let Us Help Each Other The Way is Joyful -- Let Us Share It The Way is Ours Alone -- Let Us Go In Love The Way Grows Before Us -- Let Us Begin
Together they light one candle from two smaller candles as they acknowledge their union as husband and wife. By allowing the flame of the two smaller candles to remain lit, they also accept the individuality of each other as a means to fulfilling their oneness.
"From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls are destined for each other and find each other, their streams of light flow together and a single brighter light goes forth from their united being."
